In our teenage life, we go through many problems in our friendships. If you read this and you say that you have not undergone any friendship problems, then you are lying. At some point in time, we have misunderstandings with our loved ones, which sometimes leads to a fight. We get pretty affected by it, get sad and mostly afraid that we are going to lose them. So today, I’m going to share with you some tips on how you can manage your friendships and emotions well, which will lead to a happier you.

Misunderstandings

When a misunderstanding occurs, it can lead to us to become furious and misunderstood. One person may get very mad and just not talk to the other. For instance, my friend and I had a misunderstanding once and it was really bad. What happened was she was hurt that I didn’t ask her to hangout with me, but on the other hand I was afraid to ask her to hangout, as her mom was very fierce. This made her not talk to me for weeks and I was really affected by it. I could not even talk to her as she wouldn’t respond. Now, many of you might have experienced this before and you would be wondering, what you should do then? Firstly, I would really encourage you to let your friend have some time off alone. That way, she will realise one day that she should talk it out with you. Secondly, you should not let your emotions take over you. You shouldn’t talk to your friend emotionally which could lead to a bigger fight instead. Also, once you do talk, explain each others’ point of view and talk it out. Thirdly, during the non talking period with your friend, don’t overthink. It affects our mental health a lot. It makes us focus only on the problem, which can be distracting from doing other things. Plus, we should not overthink and write a bad script about something that has not even happened yet.

Lying

If someone starts lying, it will cause a really big problem. Of course, there are some things we really want to hide from our friends, even if they are really close to us. But what I mean by lying is those small little things that we don’t even need to lie about. For instance, one of your friends invites you to hangout but you’re feeling lazy so you lie that you have a tuition class. Well, if you can guarantee that you won’t get caught by your friend, then sure go ahead. But lies are meant to be uncovered. Your friend will find out eventually and it can lead to a fight. Instead of lying, we can just be honest with each other and just tell the truth. Just tell them that you were lazy and you wanted to be left alone. Being honest with each other is best. If either of friends start lying and hiding stuff, it can lead to a toxic friendship and the friendship won’t last that long.

Gossiping

Next, this is really important. Do not talk behind each other’s backs. It's the worst thing to do in friendship to be honest. Think about it this way, imagine you really trusted a friend and you really liked him/her a lot but you hear from somebody that they have actually talked bad about you behind your back. Yes I agree, there are some parts of your friend that you don’t like and sometimes your friend may hurt you and you really want to talk to someone about it and want to be comforted and also talk a little bad about them to feel better. But, not everyone is trustworthy. Words spread fast. It will eventually get back to them. . Instead of talking to other friends about it, it is better for you to talk to your family member such as your parents instead. It’s natural to feel a little awkward for us to talk to our parents about it. However, trust me. Blood is thicker than water. They know you the best and they have the best way to comfort you and also give you advice. Someone that is not close or related to your friend at all. The best thing is when you write it in a diary and just write all your feelings out. However, if you constantly feel that you dislike your friend, it's good if you talk it out. Just be honest with each other and tell each other how you are feeling, suggest some things that could be changed about each other's behavior.

Choosing the right kind of friends

It is indeed really hard to find that one true friend. Something important that you can look for in a friend is the ability to be yourself in front of them or do you have to choose your words wisely and be insecure to say some of your true feelings. Also you can see if that person is supportive of anything you do and does not judge you for who you are. If that person can’t accept you for who you are and always judges you for whatever you’re doing, that's not a good friend. Also, getting respect from them is very important. You have to give them respect too. Another factor you can consider is, see if they show a genuine interest in your life and see if they actually listen attentively when you talk and share your experience. Stop being friends with those who don't like you being happy. For example, something good happened to you, you got a job! You tell your friend about it and they just go “oh ok” and don’t seem that happy for you, then you should realize, they are not someone you should continue being friends with and should distance yourself instead. You should be friends with those who are happy for your success. Friendship is a two-way street. You shouldn’t be the only one always texting them. If you realize that you have been the only one talking to that friend, you will wonder, “does he/she even want to talk to me?” Or is he/she just replying to me for the sake of replying? So you will wonder what you should do? First, try and not text first. And if that friend still doesn’t text but you still want to be friends with them, then text them and talk it out. If you don’t want to be friends with them, then just ignore them and find new friends. As the saying goes, friends come and go. You don’t always have to be friends with that one particular friend.

Trust

Having trust in one another in friendships is extremely important. As we live on, we experience obstacles along the way and we may have a hard time. That is when our friends step in. If we have a trustworthy friend, we can tell them all the hard things we are facing in life and they can help us. Also, you should BE a trustworthy friend.. If they tell you something private, you shouldn’t tell anybody else and just keep it to yourself. True friendship means counting on one another. This way, your friendship bond will be much stronger. For instance, I have a childhood friend who is really trustworthy. She does not make me have trust issues at all. No matter what I do, she wouldn’t judge me at all and she allows me to be the real me. This is what I learned from having trust in a friend. It will make me feel happier and positive as I’m with them and it also makes me be free of any worries as I don’t have to be insecure about anything. Also, having trust in a friend makes me also respect them even more. When you have a really big secret and you tell them but even after years they still keep it, it makes me really respect them a lot because they are really loyal. You see, having trust in someone is not easy. People’s mouths tend to be itchy when they find out something interesting or epic no matter how big of a secret it is. Therefore, as I’ve mentioned before we should choose the right kind of friends and also have trust in them and also make them trust you.

In our teenage lives, it is normal to go through many friendship problems. And I personally feel that it is an experience that everyone goes through and is the kind of life lesson we can’t learn with money. With all these friendship problems, we will learn how to choose the right kind of people, learn how we should treat people, and also train our minds. The hardships that you are facing now are probably really painful and tiring but let me tell you, time is like a medicine. Everything will be fine no matter how sad or helpless you feel right now. Thirty years down the road, you will all think of this as memories. So I hope you don’t worry much and also hope that your friendship will last long and hope that you learned how to create better friendships which can lead to a happier you.

Thank you,

Student Contributor